Friday, June 17, 2011

Practical Parenting notes

Notes from our May mtg, with guest speaker Tracey Johnson of Practical Parenting

Practical parenting is on FB - Like it!

Tracey is the mother of two children, an 8 year old and 5 year old, one biological and one adoptive

Here are rough notes from her talk on talking with kids about sex:
  • self concept and self confidence are essential for a child/person to feel at peace with themselves
  • name all the parts of your body without "funny" names - makes it less weird, inculcate your kids to sexual abuse, reduce vulnerability by having language to talk about it
  • perpetrators pick kids who aren't comfortable with their bodies or lack self esteem/confidence...they test until they think they won't tell an adult, it's the kid who doesn't know enough/better who gets abused
  • explain what private means - just for you - parts are permanent
  • discussed prudeness/discomfort level of others - parents set their own personal/cultural boundaries for what is acceptable - there is no "right" level of exposure nudity
  • share birth stories - child thought all moms had to be "sewn up" since their mom had a c-section - talk about it from the get go - book called "it's not the stork"
  • don't dodge questions - kids who can understand aren't too young to learn - rather fumble with a two year old than get blushy with a two year old - be matter of fact "does it hurt? yes!" we were built to fit together like a puzzle
  • 8 1/2 yo is suddenly grossed out by parents kissing - totally normal
  • discussed media influence - once you tween/teens are on FB, make sure to friend them and post/check-in regularly - others with moderate themselves if a parent is paying attention
  • kids are very curious about different families
  • kids learn self concept about age 3 - start to play more gender specific roles/play ask questions to explore and differentiate - one daughter was a total princess at age 7 and a year later she's a total tom boy who has "banned pink"
  • they are just figuring out who they want to be - indulge them to some degree
  • sex play is normal, playing doctor is OK as long as the kids are the same age - track/engage closely - mitigate if needed, explain that you don't share private parts - ask them to get clothes back on to talk some more, answer their question (maybe read a book) - set limits for future play
  • one parent shared how their 6yo son one minute doesn't want them to look at his penis and then five minutes later is jumping around naked, there is a new awareness
  • is bathing together OK? Yes, usually they start to want their own privacy and there is no need to set any age limit, just a simple policy of no touching private parts
  • use bath time as a small conservation about what OK with private parts - kids don't bathe with other adults
Stranger danger:
  • make plans together for what happens if you loose each other
  • ask kids to find women in the store (much less likely to abuse) or a mommy with kids
  • have kids ask for their own stickers at the checkout line - if they are too shy to ask for a sticker, they won't be comfortable asking for help
  • most dogs are friendly, but always ask the owner first
  • explain that some grown ups don't know the rules about kids and how to keep them safe - if an adult ever makes you feel unsafe, tell me immediately
  • sometimes it's just a funny feeling - it's important to listen to your body and let me know
  • don't leave with another adult - a trust worthy adult would call me
  • doctors are OK - they are a safe place
  • recommended book - protecting the gift
  • don't get in a car or go home or get off the bus
  • just because you've met them before, doesn't mean it's OK - there is only a small circle of friends who it's OK, and they would call mommy/daddy
  • sleep overs - review safety rules, don't climb out windows, no knives, private parts - no touching, more details as they get older - even when it get embarrassing (maybe for both of you)
  • playgrounds - kids will let their guard down because it feels like a safe zone
  • no one should make it scary - you know your kids
  • set boundaries - make them earn your trust to gain responsibility
  • 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused, 1 in 7 boys - 70% is from within family or acquaintances
  • the long term impact of abuse is HUGE and deep
  • make kids comfortable with their bodies early - more likely to have positive adult sexual relationships
  • define stranger - someone mom and dad doesn't know
  • strangers are like dogs - you can't tell until you are introduced, and it's important that parents are with you when you meet them
  • different cultures have different views - explain/discuss them as they arise
  • when is OK to let your child walk to school? - as with all parenting, you set your limits and decide your personal/family boundaries
  • cell phone - limit access, lots of pros and cons, convenience and safety at a point, creates a much bigger world - kids don't look at each other...they are on their "phones"
  • media - keep them gently aware, help them make choices
  • limiting screen time makes them less vulnerable
  • comfortable and confident kids make happy and safe kids

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Working Mom's Recipe of the Week

Tandori Chicken
Servings = 4

1 small container plain yogurt
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp curry powder
1 Tbsp paprika
1 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp sugar
4 chicken breasts

In the morning before work ... In a small bowl, mix yogurt, ginger, curry, paprika, garlic salt, cinnamon, pepper and sugar. Spoon into a large ziplock bag. Place the chicken breasts in the bag and seal it while removing as much air as possible. Massage the chicken until completely coated. Place bag in fridge until after work.

Preheat oven to 425 F. Place chicken breasts on a roasting pan sprayed with olive oil. Discard the bag. Back 25 minutes or until done through.

Notes: I like to serve this with jasmine rice and steamed green beans. You can cook both while the chicken is roasting.

Monday, June 6, 2011

cityMamas at Brooks Hobby Farm: Saturday, July 16th at 4:00 pm

cityMamas at Brooks Hobby Farm

Come visit Brooks Hobby Farm. Pet the chickens, feed the pigs and hang out with the lambs.
Dads and kids welcome!

This will be a potluck, please bring a dish to share.
Also bring camp chairs or a blanket to sit on.

WHEN: Saturday, July 16th at 4:00 pm
WHERE: 22607 NE 227th Ave, Battle Ground, WA
CONTACT: Mindy Brooks at 360/666-6232. Cell phones don't work at the house.

Thank you Mindy!

There are multiple ways to get to the farm from Portland. No matter what route you choose it will take about 45 minutes.

Here are the three best routes:

Easy from I-205
Exit onto Hwy 500 east
Hwy 500 will curve north
Now you’re on Hwy 503
Stay on Hwy 503 for about 7 miles to Battle Ground Turn right (east) on 199th Go thru Battle Ground, into farmlands After about 3 ½ miles At the ‘S’ curves, turn left (east) onto Risto Road After about 2 miles Turn left (north) onto 227th Ave Approximately 1 mile Our driveway is on the right

Scenic from I-205
Exit onto Hwy 500 east
Hwy 500 will curve north
Now you’re on Hwy 503
Stay on Hwy 503 for a couple miles
Turn right (east) on Padden Parkway
Stay on Padden (which becomes Ward Rd)
Road curves north and becomes 182nd Ave
Stay on 182nd thru Hockinson town center Another couple of miles, at ‘Y’ turn right (east) on Risto Road After about 2 miles Turn left (north) onto 227th Ave Approximately 1 mile Our driveway is on the right

From I-5
Exit at Clark Co Fairgrounds
Straight through light
North on N. 10th Ave
Turn right (east) onto 199th (Shorty’s is on left) Stay on 199th to Battle Ground Go thru Battle Ground, into farmlands After about 3 ½ miles At the ‘S’ curves, turn left (east) onto Risto Road After about 2 miles Turn left (north) onto 227th Ave Approximately 1 mile Our driveway is on the right

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sunday Parkways Meet-up, Sunday June 26th

Sunday Parkways Meet-up, Sunday June 26th

Family Bike Ride – Meet at NW corner of Arbor Lodge Park at 11am (ride leaves by 11:15 going north to Kenton Park) We’ll plan on a shorter route – up to Kenton Park, over to Columbia, along the bluff and back to Arbor Lodge (last year my four year old road the route himself with a small park break) Those up for the full route are obviously welcome to venture further…

Park Playdate - For families with small nappers or non-riders, join fellow cityMamas for play time at Arbor Lodge Park in the “circus area” south of the tennis courts for some afternoon fun – starting at 2pm

View Sunday Parkways Map

Please comment or email Darcy to RSVP...this will help give us an idea of how many families to look out for.